Total crap: Map reveals best places to live in the US if nuclear war breaks out

Map reveals best places to live in the US if nuclear war breaks out

 
 
This is stupidly bad and the writer along with her editor should feel ashamed of themselves. Look at who the “author” quoted: freakin’ real estate industry people. It’s a stretch to call this an actual advertisement in disguise. Rather, it’s filler like reading bottle labels out of boredom while on the toilet. AI would have done a better job.
 
If you want real survival info, buy my book Nuclear Survival in the Suburbs.
 
Nebraska: Far enough from nuclear blast sites.
Except you’re downwind from a whole bunch of nuclear missile silos that will spew tons of highly radioactive fallout after they get nuked. “Good thing we survived the airbursts over the cities, kids. Now we can die from radiation poising in the basement!”
 
Rocky Mountains: Rugged, remote and hard to find.
“Hard to find?” Look for the mountains. Remote? Maybe where the line reaches into Wyoming, sure. But not along their eastern flank in Montana and sure as heck not in Colorado. Denver is a huge population center and Colorado Springs probably has the most nuclear targets of any city in the United States other than DC. NORAD, Peterson SFB, Fort Carson, the GPS HQ just to the east at Schriever. Plus when the snow comes in a world with no electricity or food deliveries…well, “No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy,” I mean makes Jack a dull boy.
 
Mid West: Good place to build a shelter.
Given that the Midwest is downwind of the above two, yeah, I’d think so. But you know what would be even better? To live in a place like Oregon that doesn’t have to worry about it.
 
Mississippi banks
No reason was given, but this probably has to do with widely spaced targets, which is okay, I guess. But no consideration given to downstream contamination and the ease of river transport opening things up to raiders or contests over who can hold the valuable banks and bridges.
 
Florida: Rural areas.
There are rural areas everywhere genius! Also there’s a big cluster of targets in a small area and lots of people who will be evacuating the cities to the north and only two main lines of drift (I-75 and I-95). Plus a probable B-movie special becoming reality “Nuclear Hurricane, from the producers of Firey Starfish: The Tabasco Enema Contamination Case.”
 
North Carolina: Great weather and farmland.
Gee, could say that about California too. Also North Carolina will be inundated by refugees coming south from the bombed-out Northeast and DC. I-95 is a huge avenue of approach the golden hordes will handrail meaning your ass better be in a holler in the far western tip of the state.
 
California: Warm climate, lots of water.
“Lots of water.” Seriously, this person is employed writing legitimate articles for real websites? Hope you like salt water. Without electricity pumping water all over the state California dies. Not to mention the two and a half huge metropolises that will be nuked to kingdom come along with the numerous very important Pacific navy bases. Despite the state being huge, the “survivable” area this dolt is referring to is the small strip along the coast that can’t support millions. But yeah, lots of water in the desert.
 
If you want to survive a nuclear attack, here’s the real dope. First, avoid the clusters of black dots in CO/NB/WY, Montana, and North Dakota; these are nuclear missile fields. Nuking silos creates a lot of fallout because the ground has to be cratered out by a surface burst to destroy the missile. Anything falling out from these mushroom clouds will be very radioactive over dozens to hundreds of miles out. Stay upwind or well south of the silos.
 
Avoid major cities; population targets will be hit by airbursts intended to destroy cities and kill as many people as possible. Airbursts create little fallout because their fireballs never touch the ground, so no debris gets sucked up to become fallout. Instead, the cities are just flattened and start on fire. That means in most cases you can be downwind of them and not have to worry about a lot of fallout. Unless you live in someplace with a lot of bunkers or military bases.
 
Out west is a great place to survive because of the relative lack of fallout. Far away from anything that houses nukes and you’ll be okay. Oregon has very few nuclear-worthy targets (but Portland should be nuked) so that’s good, along with many of the mountainous areas of anything not Colorado. Why mountains? Because deserts are hot. Remember, you can be downwind of most cities but you should be half a gas tank away to cut down on the amount of refugees you might have to deal with.
 
The lower Midwest and South might not be bad away from dense clusters of targets and population centers, however, I’d expect that demographics may make things a little chaotic. On the plus side, the weather will be fairly mild, except for tornadoes, and water won’t be too much of a problem.